


[AO3] [Ponysmut Exchange] Your Assignment!

by Caracalliope



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bad Exchange Etiquette, Bigotry & Prejudice, Dark Comedy, Disturbing Themes, Epilogues Dirk Strider, The Homestuck Epilogues, Work Contains Fan(s) or Fandom(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caracalliope/pseuds/Caracalliope
Summary: Epilogues Dirk writes an exchange letter for thePonysmut Exchange | My Amicable Minuscule Hoofbeast Flushfic Challenge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet contains disturbing themes from both the Meat and the Candy route.

Dear Ponysmut Writer,

Hey. Thank you for writing for me, not that that's up to you. This is an exchange, not a dating app, and you didn't choose me any more than I chose you. But let's make the best of it now that we're here.

First, there is really only one thing I "do not want": mediocrity. If you can't make this into the best fic it can be, just default now.

I don't expect you to know everything about the canon but please do basic research. I don't want to be thrown out of your story by an incorrectly choreographed fight scene. I DNW inaccuracies or sloppy writing. No uwu handholding or switching. Call me old-fashioned, but fandom's mania for making things equal gets on my nerves. Learn how men have sex before you decide to write for me.

No trans headcanons or Awesome Ladies. This is not negotiable.

As for what I want - look, I'll make it simple for you. I have an original series called the Meatverse. It's barely 90k long, you can get through it in a day if you put some effort into it. Read it, learn it, let it get under your skin. Once you understand what I was going for, I want m/m Applejack/Apple Bloom romance and mentorship. Make it ache. No killing off Fluttershy (who is a GIRL) but everyone else is welcome to visit the sausage factory.

Not sure I'll be around for reveals - I've been having family problems and I'm not sure how they are going to get resolved. But don't worry, I'll get to your story eventually, if I'm still around. in fandom.


	2. Optional details are optional.

Rose hasn't been sleeping enough. My Minuscule Hoofbeast is longer than one would expect, and only reading the transcripts could mean missing some crucial visual cues.

The art’s done already - Apple Blossom in round shades, galloping off into the jpeg rainbow sunset with Fluttershy, as bros do. Dave didn’t need to engage with canon to make it. Rose knows he is furious, and he has been since she told him what she's Seen Dirk do. Kanaya’s fury is quieter, and for now, it’s constrained to making sure Rose is eating and showering while she marathons her ponies.

After the deadline, Rose will deal with Dirk, one way or another. Right now, she is needlepoint-focused on writing her treat. She will give him _everything_ he asked for, and she’ll make him regret all the things he wants.


End file.
